Immediate Decisions
The body
This is the only truly time-sensitive decision.
If the death was expected and hospice was involved, call the hospice provider first. They will guide what happens next, including whether and how to involve a funeral home.
If the death was unexpected, call 911. A medical examiner or coroner will need to certify the cause of death before the body can be released.
Using a funeral home is optional, and depending on where you live, families can handle some arrangements directly. If you do use one, you do not need to have chosen it in advance, but the body will need to be transferred within hours. If you have no preference, the hospice team or hospital can suggest options, and you are not committed to using them for the service.
Close family and friends
Notify the people who would want to know immediately. There is no right way to do this. A phone call is usually better than a text for people who are close.
Everything else can wait.
Burial or cremation
If you use a funeral home, they will need to know. If the person left written preferences, use them. If not, this decision falls to the next of kin.
Neither is permanent in terms of service options. Both can be followed by a funeral, a memorial service, or a celebration of life. The service format and the disposition of the body are separate decisions.
Death certificates
Order multiple certified copies. You will need them for banks, insurance companies, government agencies, and any organization the person had accounts with. Ten to fifteen copies is not excessive. Order more than you think you need.
Employer notification
If the deceased was employed, notify their employer. If you are the one who has lost someone and need time away, notify your own employer.
The service
Decide what kind of service to hold: a funeral, a memorial service, or a celebration of life. These are not interchangeable. A funeral generally requires the body to be present and happens within days. A memorial service and celebration of life can take place weeks or months later, giving you more time and flexibility.
If you need time, take it. A service held when the family is ready is better than one rushed to meet an imaginary deadline. That said, we always recommend sooner rather than later while avoiding a complete scramble.
Notify Social Security
If the person received Social Security benefits, notify the SSA promptly. Benefits paid after the month of death must be returned.
Do not pay debts yet
The estate is responsible for the deceased's debts, not family members, with limited exceptions. Do not pay creditors from personal funds before speaking with an estate attorney or the executor.
What can wait
Sorting belongings. Closing accounts. Responding to acquaintances. Deciding what to do with the house. Distributing personal items. None of this needs to happen this week.
Grief does not run on a schedule. Neither does estate administration. Most of it can wait longer than people think.
A practical tool
Restfully's checklist covers the full scope of tasks in the weeks after a death, in order of priority. The Memorial Planner handles service planning decisions when you are ready for that step.
